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"I believe in God, only I spell it Nature."
By Frank Lloyd Wright
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"If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know?"
By Steven Wright
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"If God dropped acid, would he see people?"
By Steven Wright
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"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happen if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?"
By Steven Wright
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"If you can spend a perfectly useless afternoon in a perfectly useless manner, you have learned how to live."
By Lin Yutang
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"If it is to be, it is up to me."
By Unknown
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"I was born because my mother needed a fourth for meals."
By Beatrice Lillie
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"Instant gratification is not soon enough."
By Meryl Streep
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"I never realized until lately that women were supposed to be inferior."
By Katherine Hepburn
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"I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage."
By Erma Bombeck
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"In New York City, one suicide in ten is attributed to a lack of storage space."
By Judith Stone
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"I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, ``Get the hell off my property.'"
By Joan Rivers
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"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."
By Aristotle
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"If Shakespeare had to go on an author tour to promote Romeo and Juliet, he never would have written Macbeth."
By Dr. Joyce Brothers
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"I rely on my personality for birth control."
By Liz Winston
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"I tried to commit suicide by sticking my head in the oven, but there was a cake in it."
By Lesley Boone.
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"I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell my children that they just about throw up."
By Barbara Bush
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"It is better to be unfaithful than to be faithful without wanting to be."
By Brigitte Bardot
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"I thought I told you to wait in the car."
By Tallulah Bankhead, on seeing a former lover for the first time in years
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"Imagination and fiction make up more than three quarters of our real life."
By Simone Weil
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