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Quotes by Erma Bombeck

"Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead."
By Erma Bombeck
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"I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage."
By Erma Bombeck
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"Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth."
By Erma Bombeck
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"A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. "
By Erma Bombeck
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"My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint."
By Erma Bombeck
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"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, I"
By Erma Bombeck
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"There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, 'Yes, I've got dreams, of course I've got dreams.' Then they put"
By Erma Bombeck
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"If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it."
By Erma Bombeck
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"People are always asking couples whose marriage has endured at least a quarter of a century for their secret for success. Actual"
By Erma Bombeck
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"A child develops individuality long before he develops taste. I have seen my kid straggle into the kitchen in the morning with o"
By Erma Bombeck
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"When humor goes, there goes civilization."
By Erma Bombeck
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"In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet."
By Erma Bombeck
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"I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food."
By Erma Bombeck
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"If a man watches three football games in a row he should be declared legally dead."
By Erma Bombeck
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"We've got a generation now who were born with semiequality. They don't know how it was before, so they think, this isn't too bad"
By Erma Bombeck
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"It is fast approaching the point where I don't want to elect anyone stupid enough to want the job."
By Erma Bombeck
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"Parenting is a negative thing. Keep your children from killing themselves, or anyone else, and hope for the best."
By Erma Bombeck
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"Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one Helen Keller is the other."
By Erma Bombeck
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"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
By Erma Bombeck
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"... it's simply wrong to always order kids to stop that fighting. There are times when one child is simply defending his rights"
By Erma Bombeck
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"Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead."
By Erma Bombeck
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