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Quotes by Jay Leno

"The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver."
By Jay Leno
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"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an artificial shortage of fish and he will eat steak."
By Jay Leno
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"How would it be if we discovered that aliens only stopped by earth to let their kids take a leak?"
By Jay Leno
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"Your preoccupation should be on doing what you do as well as you can. What your co-workers say about you, what your opponent is"
By Jay Leno
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"Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the airport. The ones who will drive you are your true frie"
By Jay Leno
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"The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver."
By Jay Leno
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"I think high self-esteem is overrated. A little low self-esteem is actually quite goodMaybe you're not the best, so you should w"
By Jay Leno
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"You cannot be mad at somebody who makes you laugh - it's as simple as that."
By Jay Leno
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"You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh."
By Jay Leno
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"Here's something to think about How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'"
By Jay Leno
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"There's this big pie in show business, and you physically can't eat the whole pie. If you give everybody a slice of pie, you wil"
By Jay Leno
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